'The Most Dangerous Place In The House' Now Makes Sense

bathtub
Originally uploaded by doublelibra

Parent (from the closet, getting dressed): Are you up here? Where are you playing?

Child (amidst various regiments of toys): I'm here. In the Bathtub of Doom.

Parent: Unh huh; 'course you are.

Depends On The Context (?!?)

Spank the Baby
Originally uploaded by littlefeetoffury

Child (from the back seat after dinner, totally out of the blue): Mom.

Parent: Yes...?

Child: Do you know what "Spank this baby up!" means?

Parent: (doubled over steering wheel, miraculously avoiding rear-end collision) Um. No idea.

(Not quite true; you know it means camp is indeed quite a learning experience.)

Not The First Time I've Had This Request

Sprinkled Donuts
Originally uploaded by Incase Designs

Child (after reading a book about healthy eating and emerging with precisely the opposite take-away):  Sometime I want to eat more donuts.  With sprinkles on them.

Parent:  I'll keep that in mind.

Child:  Do you know how to make them?

Parent:  No, I don't.

Child (exasperated):  Unh!  Get a cookbook!

And Also With You

Career Path
Originally uploaded by John and Keturah

Parent (noticing child is weaving erratically while walking to the car): What's going on? If you open your eyes, you'll stop crashing into things.

Child: Nope. I'm using The Force.

Not If You Can Help It

05092008
Originally uploaded by pa1nt

Parent (reading instructions about testing submarine ballast in a sink or tub):  Next, we need to take the sub to your bathroom.

Child:  Why — so I can pee on it??