New Science Major

Success! The Alien Cupcake!
Originally uploaded by melissaclark

Child's friend: Look at the big satellite dish over there on that vacant lot.

Parent: Probably belongs to one of the houses next door.

Child: Hey, they must be Aleontologists!

So Many Grandmas, So Little Time

autumn 065 bridesmaids dresses
Originally uploaded by apium

Parent: It's Grandpa [Parent's dad] and Grandma's [Parent's stepmom] anniversary today.

Child: Can we go?

Parent: No, I'm sorry, we're too far away. We can wish them a Happy Anniversary though.

Child: How can they have an anniversary without Grandma ___ [Parent's mom, divorce final in the '80's]?

Parent: Um. They seem to figure it out.

Malapropriations

Like black balloons all banged and blown
Originally uploaded by toastforbrekkie

Child (getting ready for school): Why does my friend call this a "pack-pack?"

Parent: I don't know, but you've had plenty of funny names for things in your life.

Child: Pack-pack sounds like a weapon, like it's packed with banynamite or something.

Parent: Uh huh...

Because It Blows

windy
Originally uploaded by Chronon6.97

Child (looking out the window): If I was at school today, I'd put a mark by "windy."

Parent (not awake but discerning there's a weather chart at school): Mmm.

Child: Looks like a Hairicane out there.

'Tis The Season — For Appointment TV

DIY Christmas & Holiday Ornaments and Decorations (Crafts)
Originally uploaded by caruba

Child (throwing open parent's shower door, accompanied by icy blast of air): Mom! 8/7 Central! 8/7 Central!

Parent (wiping soap from eyes): One of my favorite times. WHAT is at 8/7 Central?

Child: IT is.

Parent (gently closing door): Ah. I see. Thanks for explaining.

Thank goodness for DVRs. "IT" is on after Child's bedtime on a school night.