It's Alive!

kiss me!
Originally uploaded by vimanaboy

Around lunchtime, we went on a Santa Cruz hike and came back to my mother-in-law's accompanied by a banana slug and ladybug. Then we drove the gorgeous stretch of Highway 1 between Santa Cruz and Morro Bay. We were checking in to the very nice Anderson Inn when the following conversation took place:

Innkeeper (finishing check-in process): Oh, and we don't allow pets.

Child: But we have pets!

Innkeeper (wondering if I'm going to try to smuggle an Alsatian upstairs): Really?

Child: Yes! A banana slug and a ladybug.

Innkeeper: [eyes me quizzically]

Child: Oh wait — we let the banana slug go, and the ladybug flew away...now what we have is a bucket of slime.

Asked And Answered

Child Coloring with Baby Blue Color Crayon
Originally uploaded by Pink Sherbet

I was volunteering at Kindergarten when the principal and two 5th graders — one African American, one Caucasian — made an unannounced visit. The principal explained they were there to "give back to the community," by reading a story called The Crayon Box That Talked. He said it was a simple story with an important lesson the children should try to notice. The two boys — clearly there due to some race-related scuffle — read haltingly but doggedly. The different colored crayons started out not liking each other, but ultimately got along when a girl showed them they could make a beautiful picture. The principal interjected throughout: "Oh, they don't like each other." "Hmm, look what they can all do together!" Finally, he turned to the class.

Principal: Okay boys and girls, who can tell me the lesson of the story?

My child: "Be nice to your friends."

Principal: Yes, yes, that's certainly part of it.

Classmate: "Don't judge people by how they look."

Principal (delighted): Yes, exactly! Anyone else?

Another classmate: "Don't buy talking crayons!"

(If you can keep from whooping with laughter when this sort of thing happens, you're a far stronger human than I.)

If Eden's Tree Grew Carrots And Ranch Dressing

Guardian of the Forest
Originally uploaded by Garrette

Overheard backseat conversation:

Child's friend:
The "F" word* isn't a bad word, it just means "sexy."

Child: (Very long pause...)
What's "sexy" mean?

Child's friend: (Even longer pause...)
I don't really know.

*(No telling which "F" word either or both had in mind.)

Kindergartners And Klimate Change

Polar Bears
Originally uploaded by cyrusbulsara

Child (from car seat, returning to rainy weather from warmer climes): I think it's getting a little colder.

Parent (driving, the hours-ago climate change conversation a dim memory): Mm hmmm.

Child: That means we're doing things right - that means we're helping the north pole!

Parent: [Opts for the back-seat facing high five over insisting on more scientific rigor, just now.]

Even Puberty Has A Silver Lining

Mesa Tink DisenBe Good
Originally uploaded by nickstone333

Child (watching High School Musical III): I'm excited to be in high school. You never have to line up.